10 secrets of business negotiations

Vanessa Seyman, an expert on the Arab-Israeli conflict, the teacher in the negotiations of the Moscow School of Management SKOLKOVO, worked for the leading legal positions in the private sector where she acquired experience in the negotiation of distribution losses and bank agreements. Vanessa Seyman uses it to develop innovative concepts and techniques of negotiation, mainly for the settlement of cross-cultural and gender issues, as well as issues of conducting the family business. Their experiences and secrets shared with Vanessa Forbes Woman, telling interesting stories of the negotiations, in which she had to participate.

"Sometimes it happens that the negotiations last too long and as a result come to a standstill, - says Seyman. - The parties argue with each other, each defends its position, and the process does not move forward. To overcome this situation, sometimes we can use some tricks that men could hardly afford.

For example one day, finding themselves in a similar situation, I realized that it is time to defuse the situation and "accidentally" spilled a glass of water on the table. While I apologized to the participants for their awkwardness, they rose from their seats, smiling and reassuring me, they brought napkins, helped to eliminate the effects of small, but as it turned out to be very useful at the moment, "the catastrophe." In those few moments, they work together as a team. When, after that, we sat down again at the negotiating table, tension and detachment members have given way to humor and goodwill, and pretty soon we came to a mutual agreement.

Of course, this kind of methods are not universal. They are best used in addition to all the rest. And keep in mind that our aid always comes to a woman's intuition. "

Thorough preparation - the key to the success of

10 secrets of business negotiations

It sounds trivial, but people do not really prepare for the negotiations. Researchers believe that one hour of talks to you takes two hours of training, but all too often do the opposite. When working with clients, I use a simple technique eminent Harvard professor Roger Fisher 4P, which will help you prepare for any negotiation:

1. Purpose (Purpose). What is the purpose of these negotiations?

2. Product (Product). What do you want to get as a result?

3. Participants (Participants). Who on your team is the most competent in the subject under discussion in the negotiations? Which of them should be invited to take part?

4. Process (Process). How are you going to conduct a meeting?

An essential element of preparation is also a rehearsal for the opening speech. Clearly specify the first three points, the key ideas you want to convey to your opponent or partner. Good preparation will allow you to predict different scenarios of negotiations and will significantly reduce your anxiety.

Clearly identify your priority in the negotiations: to build long-term relationships or to achieve immediate results?

10 secrets of business negotiations

It should always be borne in mind that the business world is built on relationships - what they are stronger, more successful business. During the talks, you must always clearly identify priorities: what is more important - the result, or a relationship? Are you ready to make concessions today in order to build long-term partnerships and, as a consequence, obtaining promising opportunities for business development in the future?

Women tend to give more attention to relationships, while men are more oriented to the result. That is why women are negotiating effectively and men - are traded. Trade - is a one-time agreement and the negotiations - a long-term reputation management process. Once I watched the negotiations carried out with the participation of the head of his deputy - a woman. Head too put pressure on opponents, and at some point the deputy realized that the deal is on the verge of collapse. Woman sensitize experiences of those who represented the other side, so find an excuse and asked the boss interrupted to give it a few minutes to address the urgent issue. Behind the door, she gave him her observations and explained that aggressive tactics will not bring the desired result. Back in the meeting room, the head said: "I could ask more of you, but a colleague convinced me that it is better to get less, but remain friends." It was finally created one of the most successful joint ventures in Israel.

Do not be afraid to play in the open

10 secrets of business negotiations

If you think that the outcome of negotiations could adversely affect your relationship with your partner in the future, it is better to say directly about it. This will create psychologically comfortable environment at the meeting and will give you the confidence that your partners or opponents will think of you after the meeting. It is important to find the right formulation that will allow you to declare this in a positive manner.

In the same way, and you should do with your anxiety. Sometimes the best way to overcome it - openly talk about your condition and emotions. If you are sure that partners are friendly, such statements help to defuse the situation and arrange people to himself. "I have to admit that it is very excited!" - as far as possible choose a neutral language, we should not mention about your anxiety and fear.

Use active listening techniques and the power of silence

10 secrets of business negotiations

Many people believe that the passive position and the silence in the negotiating process are a clear sign that you have nothing to say to the opponent. But this is not always the case. It is very important to be able to relax, step back and allow your partner to express. Ask questions and be an active listener. One of the tactics of active listening is that you repeat the last sentence of your partner or opponent with a question mark and a genuine interest. Thus you encourage him to reveal more information because knowledge - your strength.

I always recommend to my students and clients to carry on a conversation in a way that as little as possible to talk about himself, to explain his position and motives opponent or partner. You should choose this method of communication, which will allow you to learn more about your partner, understand the nature of his motivation.

Switch to the discussion items to the discussion of interest

10 secrets of business negotiations

This recommendation is closely linked to the previous one. As a rule, people talk about what they want, but rarely explain why they want just that. Demonstrate your interest and curiosity in relation to the opponent or partner, because it will help you to discover the essence of the strategy and tactics of its behavior in the negotiations. Understanding of intrinsic motivation, the real interests and needs of the partner or opponent in itself is a guarantee of success. When we switch focus from the opponent's position in his interest, we are increasing your chances of winning without making at the same time your opponent to feel like a loser.

The female weakness - women's strength

10 secrets of business negotiations

It is no secret that women are considered the weaker sex, and in the sphere of Russian business they often have to prove their right to lead. Nevertheless, the fact that we perceive the weak, offers many advantages for us. For example, we can use in negotiations with tools such as the spectacular appearance and various kinds of emotional tactics. In addition, the ability to openly admit their weakness allows us to act on the stronger side in the negotiations, and to persuade the opponent to the beneficial actions and decisions for us, while he was not even aware of this influence.

From my experience, most business people do not make decisions based on rational arguments, born in the left hemisphere of our brain. At the heart of their decision, as a rule, are non-verbal analysis of what is happening and intuitive prompts. And here women - absolute leader. Intuition is one of the key tools of women in the negotiation process. Do not underestimate him - trust your intuition, listen to your inner voice, and he always tells you the right direction.

Pay attention to the subtext in the negotiation process

10 secrets of business negotiations

The negotiations take place not only on the verbal level. People tend to react not only on the words you say, but rather on the hidden meaning that is behind them. In the world of negotiation, especially when they involve men and women used a huge non-verbal means of communication. Women are able to see what is hidden from the eyes of the majority of men, catch the small but important details, feel an emotional conversation background, analyze the body language. It should be recognized that in the process of negotiation women can often hear offensive and derogatory remarks of different character in the address. No matter whether you are a stronger side in the negotiations, as they have greater resources and influence, or weak, the best thing you can do - tell your interlocutor on the inadmissibility of such comments. In no case do not underestimate the importance of such moments and ignore them. This kind of comments are tools subconscious game for power and you have to be suppressed. This is necessary to protect your personal and professional reputation.

In response to this kind of observations, it is equally important to prevent aggravation of the situation and its development into a conflict. Always appeals to the remark, do not get personal. For example, instead of saying: "You are a rude man", to use the wording: "This comment sounds rude. I regard this kind of observation on your part as disrespect to me and to you myself. " You can also offer your interlocutor speak otherwise. You should not expect him to apologize, because your goal is not to call it a sense of guilt, but to avoid a repeat of the situation in the future.

Give your opponent the option

10 secrets of business negotiations

This tactic is very effective. People, especially men, are always trying to keep the situation under control. Be able to choose for our partners or opponents means to be able to control the process of negotiations. Thus, if you speak only one sentence, you deprive your opponent of choice and, thereby, increase the likelihood of a negative response from his side. But if you push two or three sentences, your opponent gets the illusion of choice and control over both the process and outcome of the negotiations. Women - experts in this tactic. After all, we use it in daily life, in communion with our colleagues, customers, business partners, friends, men and children. "Do you prefer to meet on Monday at 16 am and Thursdays at 11?" - we provide the partner choice, so he gets the confidence that the last word for it, but the options offered to you, which means that it is your decision.

Always take the initiative

10 secrets of business negotiations

The initiative is a powerful tool to influence the negotiation process. Always represents the first project, the first to send your resume to partners meeting. Many people, especially characteristic of Russia, do not want to assume the role of "secretary" of negotiations, considering that it is unworthy of their professional level. In fact, "the Secretary" has a lot of power, because it is able to, in a certain way apart accents, to protect their interests.

I never allow their partners to prepare a summary of the meeting, and I always do it myself. Taking up this challenge, you can control the situation in the future. A few months later, the negotiators will remember only what you write in the report. Of course, it is necessary to proceed with caution and never build upon facts that were not discussed during the meeting. Otherwise you risk to jeopardize your professional reputation.

Learn from your mistakes

10 secrets of business negotiations

Lifelong learning and personal development - a sure way to success. You can use the same tactics, but every time she would give you different results. The negotiations involved several parties, a large number of external factors impact on each of them. Therefore, in case of failure, the most important thing to realize that they could have done differently you personally to succeed. It should be recognized that most often we blame others for their failures. Our psyche is set up so that, evaluating their behavior, we tend to turn to external circumstances, we are looking for an excuse in them. But if we analyze the behavior of another person, we will soon explain his actions by appealing to his character and personal qualities. A professional negotiator should forget about it and, above all, to analyze its contribution to the outcome of the negotiations, drawing lessons from it for the next round.

A successful negotiator is akin to an artist, a musician, who are passionate about their work. The talks - this is not a battlefield. This improvisation, and the women are very good at it as long as they are aware of it.