Relationship - The Eternal Child
• Relationship - The Eternal Child
Remember the famous fairy tale by James Barrie "Peter Pan and Wendy", the protagonist of which - Peter Pan - I did not want to leave the world of childhood and become adults? Each tale has some truth. And the hard truth is reflected in the prevalence of psychological phenomena - infantilism.
Referring to the dictionary:
"Infantilism (from the Latin infantilis -. Children) - is the preservation in the adult physical and mental traits peculiar to children's age." It turns out that the infantile man - kind of a big child who is unable (or unwilling) to live according to the laws of adulthood.
A typical example - a sissy. Overgrown man who does not have his own opinion, strong will, not able to take decisions, as a rule, weak-willed, and most importantly - deifying his mother.
Vyacheslav 30 years. He lives with his mom and dad. He has a degree in teaching, tutoring at home. Vyacheslav hobby - photography. He is doing well. Mum says: "Brilliant! Son, you - the talent! "
And implement - even if not in full, but still - a dream son suit, using all her connections, the exhibition in the local museum and galleries in the nearby towns. And also: provides students selects friends, girlfriends, even the bride's son found - the widow of 60-odd years, had a weakness for young boys.
And what glory? Glory does not contradict. He grasped since childhood: "My mother knows better what I need." No, there were, of course, the protests, but they quickly repressed mother of power.
For example, several years ago, he met with the girl glory. We met three months. And there was a young man a natural desire to introduce a favorite with his mother about what he said and the last. Obstacles in the statement mom is not met. Probably prevailed purely feminine curiosity, Whom shall I selected my "nesmyshlony" sonny?
Unfortunately, the evening meeting Marina - was the name of a guest - and Lyubov (future mother-in failed) was the last meeting with Vyacheslav lover.
All two and a half hours mother told the candidates in-law what wonderful pictures makes her son, how many languages he knows what his poor health, etc. Marina one question was asked:.. "Who are you by education?", And then out of politeness.
Lyubov did not like the girl too young, life experience, and a little worn too openly (skirt just above the knee in its concept - vulgarschina).
After leaving Marina Mom Glory gave vent to emotions. And in the end, "pripechatat" "She do not match!" The man's heart fought two feelings: not to upset his beloved mother by their behavior and not to lose the Marina.
But in the end won the mother instilled throughout the life of the axiom: "Women will be a lot, and you have one mother." So he said Marina on the phone. Well, a girl like that? ..
A similar pattern of immaturity - papa daughter. When in fact such examples could be cited. Infantile people consciously or unconsciously copy the children's behavior, literally put a mask on the baby's face has long been an adult. Why is this happening? Maybe it's easier to live? Less problems?
Perhaps it will seem to the casual observer, but it is actually much more complicated. Often, the "eternal children" really convenient to remain so for life, because they do not want to change anything (psychological infantilism), or simply can not due to their lack of emotional and volitional base, formation of which occurs at an early age (mental infantilism).
Yet there is a small proportion of people really suffering from their immaturity, as if from a tooth of the patient. How can you help them?
1. Since this "disease" - the result of improper care and excessive parental care is a major aspect in the process of getting rid of it is revision of man's behavior and life patterns in general. Self-observation, analysis of their actions and deeds should be aimed at eliminating daily give themselves known complexes.. Fear of anything new, the fear of responsibility for their choices, self-doubt, etc. Once you learn to objectively evaluate yourself, the chances of eliminating the problem rise sharply. Remember: "Patience and a little effort!"
2. to learn how to. To do this, the ideal is parting with a home and a familiar way of life if you live together under one roof with their parents. Best of all, if it's all the other town. This method is tested by many, it really works. Yes, in the beginning will panic, even shock, but this time you just need to survive, took himself in hand. 3. If you feel that your own with infantilism not consult or above measures will not help - to make an appointment with a psychologist. Some believe such a move something shameful, but believe me, nothing wrong in the campaign is not a specialist. But inaction will describe you as a weak personality, deliberately leaving from solving problems. Psychological training do wonders. This is a real opportunity to completely change your life. Do not use this chance to be very stupid.
Infantilism - not a sentence. "Eternal child" - not a diagnosis. It's hard to - to break itself - but feasible. But as a result you will receive a gift, the value of which is indisputable: to prevent the loss of your favorite and you love people, be full and fresh look and feel like a completely adult!
Nadezhda Ponomarenko, especially for our website